Remember those cute little dwarfs singing that catchy little tune? Off to work they went, with smiles on their faces and a spring in their step. I went back to work yesterday with that same attitude. Mind you, this is the first time in over 20 years that I’ve been to work at a business I didn’t own, so I’m being extra careful not to piss anybody off (since I have to actually answer to somebody….nothing like a little pressure) but I’m confident that I can do a good job etc. etc. etc. No, work isn’t the problem…it’s what’s going to happen on the home front that worries me.
In my past “working” lives, I’ve either worked out of the house or had a competent nanny/au pair, or SOMEONE to hold down the fort while I was at the office. I thought that prudent since I had 4 small kids who all needed a full time mom just to help them with homework and listen to their whining. Well now that they’re older (and I need to make some $$ to pay for stuff like college and increased teen-driver car insurance) I need to work and not have half my income go into someone else’s pocket. So there will be no nanny (or chef, or masseuse….darn it) keeping the home fires burning. I learned this yesterday. Please don’t forget that my husband works from home and is fully capable of making a sandwich or doing a load of laundry..this is important, because I am about to rant.
So yesterday I started back to work. It was a long day because there was a dinner involved at the end, so I knew I was going to be gone for a good 12 hours. I bribed my eldest to help the others with their book reports that are due the first day of school (husband off the hook there). I warned him I’d be gone and that Adam had tae kwon do at 6:30 and that we pay for it whether he goes or not (that usually generates some interest on attendance where my husband is concerned). Puff puff toot toot off I go.
Fast forward to 8pm.I walk in. The house smells of burnt popcorn. That same burnt popcorn happened to be what was served for dinner. Adam is in his pj’s and that’s not because he’s had a lovely day and has already showered and gotten ready for bed. He hasn’t left the house. No tae kwon do, no nothing. I won’t go into the condition of the house. The book reports, thanks be to God, are done. (because I put someone without a Y chromosome in charge).
Now it won’t always be like this, right? Because they’ll be in school and he won’t be “in charge”…but what about dinner and laundry and homework and housework? I am not whistling my happy tune anymore. Am I going to have to be a crock pot mom? Will I spend my weekends planning menus and pre-cooking? Even if I do that it won’t help with laundry, and he’s going to HAVE to pick them up and get them places…are they going to get left all over town? (I think I’ve already written about the shame of being the last mom in the pick up line) Oy….I think I’m going to be pining for those au pair days…
So for all of you who’ve been doing all of this for all of those years…I salute you. Send calm and organized vibes my way..I’m going to need them. For now, I’m off to the grocery store….we’re out of popcorn.
AAAAAAAAARGH you just tripped of PTSD … I am having vivid flashbacks of driving home in a blizzard from Manchester with three kids in the car after a long grueling day trying to beat a deadline, only to find my lovely husband sitting on the couch waiting for me to come home and make dinner. WAITING! Like what? I was going to breeze in with three hungry, whining, exhausted children and U&()@_*#@()_*@()_ make something? Your popcorn was our pizza. To this day the word pizza makes all the kids cringe!
Good luck … I’d love to say it gets easier, but you only get more resentful and furious. It’s great! And of course there are COSMOS. They help. A lot.
Can I tell you how much trouble I got in for that post? He was not at all happy. “It’s one thing to write stuff and it’s another to bash your husband on the internet”…He doesn’t want me writing any more. I may have to start a new blog with a different by-line and just not fill him in on it…..grrrrr…how will I vent now? Anyway…glad you could relate….hope kids are well! Lacey (aka yowler or whatever you all named her) is STILL alive and STILL really really loud. Do cats live forever?
LOL! yes, I do think cats live forever, our cat Jelly disappears from time to time, but always comes back … usually when we’re pretty sure this is really “it.”
I think your husband just needs to understand that we savvy women have come up with yet another way to vent and get through our lives — and the internet is just the means to an end. There are not countless strangers reading it and thinking “what a terrible husband she has.” Umm, no, it all comes back to, it’s not all about you dear! Glad to see from your new post that you have figured out how to ditch him off your subscriber list.